Sunday, April 8, 2012

why?



why do i feel guilty about eating that calorie loaded, totally disastrous for my waistline, most evil creation of mankind, chocolate pastry after it has happily settled in my tummy?

why does the morning alarm for a walk ring in my head hours after 6am?

why do all weight conscious thoughts make sense only when the dress i'm dying to wear just doesn't zip up even when i almost about to die holding my breath?

N hated the way she looked and that had everything to do with the number of kgs she weighed. the needle on the weighing scale never made her happy.
how she wished she was a guy. fat, short, dark they always had some pretty girl vying for their attention. a belly meant prosperity, short height was well compensated by a high IQ and a good wit always worked wonders with the fairer sex.
little wonder then that her short, fat, dark boyfriend made her feel shorter, fatter and well not exactly darker ( though she did burn with anger every time he left her stranded at social gathering, while all the girls were cracking up on his 'oh so funny' sense of humor).

he was the chief editor of a travel magazine. he charmed the ladies with his travel escapades which he put forth so eloquently. how she longed for the times when it was just him and her, sitting on the lazy boy munching extra butter Act II popcorn. she could sit for hours and hours hearing him talk, and all the while mindlessly gobbling on some calorie rich, ready to eat snack. "don't count your calories, i love your curves", he would tell her and she blinded by love never bothered to check the mirror!

of course she realised much later that her curves had turned into a 6 lane expressway and that it made him speed past her at 100km/hr.

and then one day the alarm did ring, sharp at 6. she went for a walk. and she kept walking till every bone in her body ached. and then the alarm rang every day. the dresses fitted her effortlessly and the curves, well they were back. N finally had all the answers and that evil chocolate pastry seemed quite harmless now. after all it was just a tinnie tiny bite, how much damage could that do? so she picked it up and savoured the taste. just then she heard laughter roar from the corner of the room. she looked across and saw him surrounded by wide eyed women, ogling over some silly sky diving adventure trip in New Zealand.

"wait a minute", she thought. "i'm the one who walked my ass to get back the curves so why am i still sitting in the corner?" and then she looked at what was left on the plate where just a few minutes back a thick, rich chocolate cake was kept.
the button on her skirt went flying off and there was N, again asking the same old questions

why...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

my six six word stories

Depressed. Ate Chocolate. Got Fat. Depressed.

Hot. Sexy. Great Ass. Marriage. Invisible.

Quit Tomorrow. Salary Day. Second Thoughts.

First Friend. Then Lover. Lost both.

Old song. Remembered you. Pressed delete.

Bad Dream. Scared. Hugged You. Goodnight.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Airport

He had packed his bags. The preparation of the next 21 years of his life neatly folded into two 31inch suitcases. He even made a checklist, something his reckless spirit forbid him to do, however this time he had to make sure he didn’t leave anything behind. Except for one thing or rather someone.

She was his complete opposite. Emotions ruled her logic. Perhaps, the wiring in her brain connected straight to the heart. As for him, like all sensible human beings, logic and reasoning simply made...more sense. So they fought and they fought a lot. She armed with emotions and he with the power of logic. And then one day logic won. They fell apart never to talk again. At least that's what he thought was the logical thing to do.

But he was going, perhaps forever and she just had to see him. "Janne se phele aakhri baar milna kyu zaroori hota hain?" Her favourite dialogue from a movie.


And so she came to the airport, just in time to get one last glimpse of him. He was there taking his bags out of the car boot. Her heart skipped a heartbeat, just like it did every time she saw him driving by in the car or casually chewing on corn with friends outside her office.

She took a step forward to meet him, to fling her arms around him and give him that one last hug. Just then she noticed the airport tow away van driving towards her car. For a second, reason took over emotions and she ran towards it. But she turned around to take that one last look at him and that's when it happened. The man behind her car accelerated. And her heart skipped a beat for the last time.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A fresh deal

Vikram, Zara, Vevek and Shalini always came together for one thing...a game of cards. Whenever they would get together for their fortnightly meetings, a round of cards was well...always on the 'cards'. The meetings were quite typical. They began over lunch/dinner, (oddly the boys always arrived later) a brief catching up on each other’s work and personal life, followed by more food and of course the usual crackers from the boys. Men always seem to have a natural flair for humor. And so while the men were best being witty, the girls blushed and sat pretty! But the meetings had to invariably end in a game of cards. While every game had a new winner, one thing never changed...how Zara and Vikaram sat. They always took the seat opposite to each other and while everyone played for their individual gain, Zara and Vikram had a game of their own. They invented gestures and signs which they used while playing.
Their friends of course were oblivious to this secret arrangement. A tug on the leg meant the person next to Zara was ready to pack. And a raised eyebrow from Vikram was a sign that the road was clear for Zara to claim a higher stake. So while others exchanged cards and conversations, Zara and Vikram relished a rather silent exchange of their own.
Soon this camouflage extended into something more than just the game. Vikram purposely lingered back after the game. Zara always pretended to have some work nearby, so she won't have to leave with the rest. And so their secret rendezvous became more intimate. Zara started looking forward to every meeting and took particular care in dressing up. She loved the secret messages Vikram would send her, telling her how pretty she looked. Slyly she would read them and blush. Zara's world revolved around these meetings. She thought these moments would never end and she clung to Vikram even more. But just like a child who tightly holds on to her chocolate so that it doesn't finish, only to open her hand and see that it’s all melted. Zara too woke up to a reality she never expected. It started much like the usual meetings. She spent an hour deciding what to wear, till she finally zeroed on a red dress. It was Vikram's favourite colour. She even straightened her unruly hair (Vikram liked that too!).
But that day she got a little late. It was cloudy and all the autowallas were eager to head home. She finally arrived at the venue and stood at the door. She looked around the crowded room and spotted Vikram. He was wearing the grey shirt she really liked. "Perfect", she said to herself. Today was going to be special. She walked across the room, looking only at Vikram. She reached the table and pulled the chair opposite his. Just then a girl walked past her and took her seat. She smiled politely at Zara and said thank you. Zara looked at Vikram, her eyes brimming with questions. And that's when she saw it, the big diamond glistening on his finger.
A fresh deck of cards lay dealt on the table. But Zara turned and slowly walked away.
She knew that the game was finally over.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A turn for good

Ta...da... I'm finally here! Till quite recently, I really didn't care too much for blogs. I couldn't understand why people would pen(sorry key) down their personal thoughts on a social forum and receive an inexplicable pleasure out of it? And while my sister, an enthusiastic blog writer and follower urged me many a times to read blogs and even write some, I hardly cared. In fact I'm sure out of the many blogs she has written I've only read one. But then one day, I read a guy's blog and for some strange reason it inspired me. So I made up my mind to start my own. Oddly, the inspiration lasted only for a few days and then my uncanny habit of postponing things took the better of me.
But something happened today, after a very rough month and a rough night of dealing with certain events that have doomed my life off late, something changed. I woke up today, thinking that a bad month and a bad night would translate into an equally bad if not worse day. So I decided to go for a walk, if i can't control the bad things happening around me I should at least keep one thing under control...my weight (have put on loads n loads of it, I bet it has everything to do with those jealous eyes who used to envy my hour glass figure!). Anyhow, so as I was furiously walking while trying to sort out the outburst of emotions in my head, a petite little butterfly came and perched herself on my shoulder. She kept sitting as I slowed my pace and my heartbeat(though I was scared it would fly away with my movement, but it didn't.) It patiently waited for me to calm down and when I finally sat down and took a long look at it, I felt that all my angst, my sorrow and the weight on my mind(unfortunately not the one on my body) being lifted. And then almost symbolically, it flew away too. So in the midsts of everything that had taken a turn for the worse, it all fell back into place again. And a predetermined bad day inexplicably took a turn for good.